You Don’t Fail, You Stop
Failure isn’t an event, it’s a decision
One of the oldest tropes in Hollywood is the Unseen Evil, Hidden Villain. It’s why in Jaws we don’t see the shark until the legend has been built up and we’re already terrified.
Failure is a bit like Bruce, the aforementioned shark. It’s Michael Myers and the Blair Witch ringing on the phone when there’s a power cut during a thunderstorm.
We know it’s lurking in the deep, we’ve heard all sorts of stories about how big and bad it is, we’ve even seen the wrecked ships ourselves, but we don’t quite know what it is.
You don’t have to be a founder for long to hear some advice about not fearing failure.
Fearing failure is the thing we’re told is what’s causing us to not take risks.
There's a lot I hate about startup culture, but this idea of not fearing failure is one of the things I hate most, find most disingenuous, and most dangerous.
Of course you should fear failure.
I wrote previously about why it is perfectly normal to fear failure, there’s no point acting like it isn’t.
It’s just that we rarely dare to turn the light on and look failure in the eye.
What Is Failure?
So what is failure? Does it have big teeth?
Failure isn’t a brand. It isn’t one thing.
It might be your product not resonating with your market, it might be you and your team not having the skills needed to make it succeed, it might be not raising enough investment or running out of cash, it might be an unexpected legal case or compliance issue.
Many of these events have different reactions based on how they’re received and interpreted.
Running out of cash might come from not making enough sales, not raising enough investment, not doing good enough forecasts, spending your money wrongly, not cutting costs soon enough when the warning signs are there.
Some of these scenarios can come as a complete surprise, or some you can sleepwalk into. Some are through other bad actors and some are innocent and bad luck.
If you have a great product, great sales, a great team, and then your main client goes bust or just doesn’t pay then you might have a strong case to make for saying failure has happened to you, but others would say you had too many eggs in one basket and you’re too exposed to that risk.
The Black Swans and Gray Rhinos might surprise us, creep up on us, or just go unnoticed, and they might help add an antagonist or culprit to the story.
Failure is sometimes voluntary, sometimes enforced by an event, but how you react and how you are able to react defines it and its legacy.
Choosing to stop
Failure might mean the end, but it is just the end of another chapter rather than the story altogether.
Closing one book gives the opportunity to pick up another one.
And there are always other books, even when it doesn’t seem that way.
Failure can be a positive act, it can free you from something that didn’t deserve your time any longer.
When you’re ambling on, it doesn’t feel like there’s a cord to pull that stops the bus. You’ve got to keep it going over 50mph or else it’ll explode.
That’s why recessions can be quite convenient for some companies. They give you permission to make tough decisions and give a convenient excuse to get away with it.
Recessions force realities, they give a new villain who can be pointed at and identified.
The bravest leaders are the ones who make those decisions when there isn’t an external villain to blame.
I've written about this a couple of times, but sunk cost fallacy and other mental models can stop you from recognising habits and behaviours that don’t lead to long term gain or benefit.
If you’ve been running a company that has turned into a zombie then maybe the most successful thing you can do is it just stop doing that and do something else.
Others might see the stopping as failure, but that just isn’t the truth.
Failing Responsibly
There’s a lot of risk in saying that something is failed when it comes to building momentum in a team.
Failing doesn’t come lightly, it can contribute to losing opportunities to try again. If you are on a perceived losing streak then you might struggle to get others to buy in to the next big idea.
I do believe that for some there is a cultural difference between American and British entrepreneurs when it comes to this perception of failure, but I think it is overblown at times and totally ignores other privilege that gives some people an opportunity to keep dusting themselves down more often than others.
If you’re building a team that is focused on creating something big then lost faith can be like having a leaky petrol tank on a long drive.
I wrote about how uncomfortable innovation can be for teams previously, but it echoes here.
But if you can get this ownership of failure right then it gives permission for others to at least try.
Saying I don’t know, saying I got it wrong, saying when you need help. If you do it honestly then people will keep faith.
Authenticity here is invaluable.
Own stopping, realise your power.
There’s a lot in this about world building. Most of us rarely think about world building. Our life is our life, and that’s that. We have so much more control and power than we ever recognise.
This is a topic for another day, but assess all of those habits, norms, and behaviours that perpetuate the way you’ve always done things.
Every year I try to take on a different challenge during Lent.
Changing the everyday can get us to realise what we don’t want to carry on doing anymore. And by doing that, we truly gain the power to stop what isn’t treating us well.
Read next…
Act Like You’ll Be Around Forever
If you intend to create a business that lasts, start acting like it
Think about simple everyday acts like eating last to be a better leader
You Won’t Always Get What You Want
What are the three things stopping you from getting what you really want?